What Is A First Look?

Your wedding day is full of so many emotions, reactions, and important moments. As you are planning your timeline and events for your wedding day, you are probably thinking about when you will see your partner for the first time.

Some questions you can ask yourself are, how public do I want to be with my reactions and what is important to me? Your wedding day is about you and your partner and your unity together. The people you have invited to be there are to support your unity, however that looks.

If you are someone that is more private, doesn’t like PDA, or simple just want more time with your partner on your wedding day, a first look might be a good fit for you!

What is a first look?

A first look is traditionally a time where you and your partner see one another for the first time on your wedding day. You can pick a location to meet at, and one of you turns around to see the other. This allows you to stand close to one another and react however you want to (kiss, embrace, cry, joyful laughing, whatever!).

You can decide who you want there and how long this lasts. If you are wanting this moment just for you and your partner, I highly recommend having family and friends/wedding party not be standing near by so they aren’t watching you. This can be you and your partner and your photographer and videographer. They are there to document whatever happens. They don’t have to talk or interrupt this time to let this be your natural reactions and time together.

What do I do during my first look?

During your first look you can do whatever you want, truly! This is your time for you and your partner to spend quality time together on your wedding day. You can take this time to just soak in the fact that you are getting married. You can see one another, react however you react, embrace, and chat for a moment. You can take this time to take some portrait pictures together.

Some other things you can do with your time together after your first look are: exchanging personal vows to one another, exchanging letters, giving gifts, singing a song, performing something if that’s your thing, or even just holding hands and looking into each others eyes and soaking in the moment.

Why should I do a first look?

There are a few factors that can help you decide on if a first look is best for you.

The first main factor is your personal wants for your day. Do you want a private moment together? Do you want to exchange something with your partner that you don’t want to do in front of all of your guests? Do you prefer to express yourself and your emotions alone or with your partner? Do you like having people see you react? Do you want the traditional aspect of walking down the asile being the first time your partner sees you? This is your personal decision for your wedding day. This is your experience and you get to decide what you do or don’t do.

Another huge factor in this decision can be your priority for your pictures and your timeline. When you create a timeline with your photographer you can talk about the time of your ceremony and the sunset. If you are getting married later in the year when the sun is setting earlier, this can cut down on your time getting pictures with natural light outside. Doing a first look before your ceremony will allow you to have more time taking pictures in natural light. When you do a first look, you can also take group pictures before your ceremony too. This can include your wedding party and your family formals depending on your day. If you are someone that wants a lot of pictures of you and your partner on your wedding day and your wedding ceremony is closer to sunset, I would recommend doing a first look to allow for more time with your partner during the day and more time for pictures.

What are some first look alternatives?

So you decided you don’t want to do a first look, but you want to do something together before the ceremony. That’s totally fine! This is your day and you can make it the experience that fits you and your relationship.

I personally did a “first touch”. My (now) husband and I held hands around a corner. We didn’t see each other, but we could talk to one another. It grounded us a bit before the ceremony and we still had the traditional first look of seeing one another when I walked down the aisle.

You can do a first touch by around around a corner. You can hold hands, or not. You can read letters to one another, pray, play a song, or just chat. These are just some examples and not rules you need to follow. You can be in adjoining rooms and chat, play a song. If you are musically talented and express yourself that way, I have seen people play their guitar and sing to their partner without seeing one another. You can be unique and experience something together without seeing one another.

Another unique idea, you can pre--record a video and have someone play it for your partner. That way you can say something special to your partner without seeing them or being in the same space as them.

Can I do a first look with someone other than my partner?

Heck yes! If there is someone important in your life and you want a special moment for them, you can set time aside in your schedule to have a moment with them.

You can do a casual first look with your wedding party! When you put your wedding attire on, you can have selective people in the room with you, or no one there - whatever makes you most comfortable and supported to have good energy - you can show your wedding party or friends/family your look when you are dressed and come out of the getting ready space! It can be as simple as that!

You can include a “father figure”, aunt, grandparents, parents, best friend, you can have time to show off your look and have time with the people you want time with!